The Theory and Practice of Etiquette
"Ah, good afternoon, you must be another Undergraduate Readiness Assessment scholar; the Committee has been absolutely flooding us with you as of late..."
You've hardly made it through the front door of the Examination Island Etiquette School and someone has already started talking to you.
"...I've been an instructor at this institution for several years, and prior to my employment here, I had simply written off the youngest generation as self-absorbed, spoiled children in the same way many women my age seem to have, so I continue to be surprised by the number of students who enter our academy believing that etiquette is nothing more than a collection of old-fashioned, outmoded procedures for what were once routine interactions—although I do suppose the wrought-iron fence may contribute somewhat to a mistaken first impression in that particular area—and emerge having learned more than they've ever known about the intricacies of courtesy and confidence, two attributes that have truly come to the forefront in today's society, wouldn't you agree?"
Those mystery novels had not prepared you for a sentence that went on that long.